I love red wine. I love red wine like some women love coffee. But I hate coffee. Therefore all beverage love is dedicated to wine.

There is a long standing warning against drinking if you have any hope of controlling impulse eating. I am by definition an impulse eater. If you place cookies, nachos, toast, pickles, or granola bars before me there is a 99% chance I will eat it. I have zero food control. The only thing I’ve made improvements on is portion size… However all bets are off when wine enters the picture…

See I have the specialized brain function that allows me to formulate food combinations that are sugary, buttery, and calorie-tastic when 2+ glasses of wine have been consumed. Tonight for example I had the ingredients for rice krispy treats, chocolate chips, and cool whip… Guess what that makes? Rice Krispy+cool whip+chocolate sandwiches. Yum. Seriously.

Thank god I graduated college when I did. If I drank as often as college and had the pantry I currently do… Oh poor freshmen fifteen would look like a tiny cushion..