I love reading around the blog world and peeking into the different stages of people’s lives. From people who are in the throes of redoing their house, to having a baby, to becoming healthier, and of course the dating and wedding scene.
Today I was reading Melissa’s blog and I was thrown back into a little nostalgia of my Match.com days. As I’ve said before, I met Trevor on the good ol internet. Technically speaking I paid a bargain price of 60 bucks to paired up with my 6’3″ drink of water. Money well spent.
But I know that just because it worked for me, doesn’t mean it works for everybody. Having horrible dates, creepy dudes messaging you, and maybe not having the right guy pop up isn’t exactly fun. But just like going to the bars, getting set up on blind dates, its kinda like winning the lottery. You win some, you lose some.
So here’s my two cents. If you have a snub factor going for online dating sites, cause “they’re weird” and “I don’t want to meet my spouse over the internet”, I think you should look at as having a cheat sheet to every person’s character and interests in a bar. Essentially online dating allows you to narrow out the people who will a) bore you to tears b) don’t have similar values and c) you don’t have to see them in person to reject them.
Is it really that easy? No. You can still end up on a date with a complete jerk, or not realize who they really are until you meet them. But chose your own pace. I felt most comfortable moving in stages. I’d trade a few emails with a guy and then if there was some witty or interesting banter happening, I’d send my number. That way we can see if their personality is consistent on the phone with their writing skills. Obviously, writing only gets you so far. Unfortunately I’m sure I freaked several guys out with my sarcasm. Apparently its difficult to tell when I’m kidding. Shhorry 🙂 But at least do a little screening… or you could end up on a date with this:
If they passed the phone test, then it was on to the dating world. This process could take anywhere from a few days to a few weeks depending on how frequently you email or talk. The first guy I went out with, we emailed for a week or so, talked on the phone twice and made a date. I had a heads up of his personality without knowing so much about him that we’re left pushing our food around our plates.
As for my profile, well here it is… Yup, I’m giving you the goods. Judge me!! I dare you! I snagged a hot pilot with it so don’t get to high and mighty on me!
In my own words
I love to run! I coached xc and track at Boulder High last year and had a blast hanging out with my team. I absolutely love to cook and obsessively watch the Food Network. I make some mean crab cakes, and my go to item is Chicken Parmesan.
Serbian, Croatian, Slovenian, and Irish
I went to CU, Leeds School of Business. While I grew up in Fort Collins, my entire family is a huge group of Buff graduates. I’ve known the fight song since I was 2. I think if you were a Huskers fan, we’d have serious issues 🙂
favorite hot spots:
Hot spots are anywhere with a nice rooftop or patio to sit outside and relax with some amazing food… as far as locations San Francisco, Hawaii, New Zealand, Barcelona, Switzerland, Paris, and of course Colorado
Grey’s Anatomy, Top Chef, anything on the Food Network, hip hop, rock, country, and Mexican food!! I want to try so many restaurants, anything from burrito stands to big splurge dinners!
Harry Potter series, Cooking Lite, Shape and Self magazine, mystery novels, Diane Mott Davidson books
I love big dogs, not little ones that yip! A cat is ok, not plural, but honestly dogs are 40 times better to me
About my life and what I’m looking for
I just graduated school and already love my job. It’s really important to me to find someone who is motivated career wise and is invested in the career.
I love sports and working out. It would be really great to find someone who I can not only go to games with but run a 5k with.
I love my friends and family and consciously try to work them into my busy schedule. I love to spend time with them, and do nice things to surprise them to show that I’m thinking of them. I think it’s really important to appreciate the people in your life and show them how much they mean to you.
Bottom line for me is that I want someone who makes me laugh, can do something active with, and then be completely comfortable around no matter what we’re doing.
oh and I’m extremely sarcastic, in my family, its honestly a language
Overall, I would recommend it. I know it’s not for everybody though. Maybe its worth the free trial though! So there is my little soap box opinion. Hope you guys are having a great week!
** Ps. We are on Match.com Success Page
Where I last left off I believe everyone should grasp that I was a bit ga-ga over Trevor (not GaGa, there was no meat dress or weird lobster shoes). Our first date was cute and sweet and I felt like I was hanging out with Prince Charming. It all felt very comfortable and easy.
Date Numero Dos was a liiittttllleee different. Date two involved new characters who were introduced into the plot.
I had a job last year up the canyon from Boulder. It was a quirky little location; I worked in a house, had zero cell reception, and had my two friends as co-workers. These two co-workers were the first to meet Trevor and give him a larger look into my life.
My handsome date was kind enough to offer to bring me lunch only 12 hours after we had ended our first date. None of that wait three days for a phone call nonsense. He made the drive up the winding canyon with Panera in tow and was welcomed into my little work world. Poor guy.
Within the first five minutes we broke into what I can only call “girl spaz” attacks and were laughing and finishing each other’s sentences. We were dorks. Case and point, we made him watch this video.
See? We were embarrassing. But guess what I’m still embarrassing and he married me. I wave my nerd flag and I wave it everyday.
Honestly, though, lunch was fun. It was funny to have this new guy already meeting my friends and coworkers and it all felt like it fit. I had a school girl crush and was so happy to have a cute guy bringing me lunch.
When he headed out we made plans for that night. His last night in town. His last night in town before he went back to JAPAN. WHERE HE LIVED. WHICH IS A 16 HOUR TIME DIFFERENCE. sigh.
Now this is where is truly ridiculous chivalrous, manly, hotness came out. I was so tired from being out late, driving my commute home and then back to work early that Friday morning that my cute pilot offered to drive all the way from Boulder to Fort Collins to pick me up. That’s over an hour of driving. Oh and we were going to hang out in Boulder. I was too sleep deprived to graciously decline.
So he picked me up and we talked and stared at each other on the drive back to the Boulder area… Where was he taking me you ask? He was taking me to a very local, hometown street fair. It would totally be a hometown date on The Bachelor.. very American and cute. Oh and by the way his parents where there. So it was exactly the same as The Bachelor. Who meets a guy’s parents on the second date? That’d be me. Oddly Trevor’s parents, who are divorced and his dad lives in another state, were conveniently in the same location at this very same street fair. Cool
So I met the parents, I was nervous and sweating. Oh hey future in-laws! But as overwhelmed and nervous as I was, we did get our first couple picture..
Trevor and I hung out and listened to the band, bought delicious kettle corn, downed a beer, and acted like we’d met months ago. After the street fair we went to his mom’s house because he needed to pack up his stuff for his 8am flight. It was odd to be helping him, why was I packing up my date’s stuff? Aren’t we supposed to be at a movie or something? But this was a habit to get used to.
Trevor drove me home at 1am and then hung out with me until almost 3am. We were both barely keeping our eyes open but the time was literally almost out. He needed to drive back to his mom’s so she could take him to the airport. The pit in my stomach was forming…
As I walked him out and said a very dumb-struck good bye. I hugged him and kissed him good night. We said our first I love you. You can roll your eyes if you want, but if you know me this was very out of character. I love my friends, I love food, I love dogs… but boys well, it takes me a bit longer than 48hrs. Not with Trevor. I hugged him again, and literally as he pulled out of my driveway I thought “he’s a big deal, he’s it”.
I was 22. I had just got my first job. I hadn’t even lived on my own yet. I found him.
He left for Japan that morning and we talked, and texted his entire journey back to northern Japan. A routine soon set in of talking to him around 4-5am for an hour or two. We emailed like crazy. I got to know my best friend via letters, phone calls, and Skype dates. There wasn’t the convenience of quiet time on the couch or the distractions of going out to eat at a restaurant.
Two months later he came to visit me. About every 8-9wks for the next 8 months was our dating story. By the time we got married we’d spent less than 3 months together.
Thursday August 13th was the big first date. After our three hour phone conversation I had several things outlined in my head about my date. He was an Air Force fighter pilot, he currently lived in JAPAN, and he seemed like the nicest human being on earth. (Nice and handsome? That never happens).
First of all, I mentioned previously his Match.com profile, he had his location listed as Louisville, CO. So when we talked about his work and life, he dropped the bomb that he was currently stationed in Northern Japan. In my mind this meant only one thing, I got to go on a very nice date with a very good looking guy but obviously this wasn’t going anywhere. I wasn’t interested in a mega-long distance relationship.
Secondly, the fighter pilot factor wasn’t so much a “thing”to me as much as I just thought it was neat. However when I told my college guy friend I was going out with a fighter pilot that night, he almost asked to go. I realized that maybe being an F-16 pilot is a bigger deal to some people. Note to self don’t hate on air planes on date.
Finally, the phone conversation had also firmly established that Trevor was a 100% genuine, sweet, and kind man. From his obvious love of the Air Force, to his obsession with dogs, and the ability to put me at ease even though I was talking to a complete stranger; he was honestly the nicest guy I’d ever talked to. I had no idea what to expect on the date… maybe there would be zero chemistry? Maybe he would look nothing like his very good looking photogenic Match pictures? Maybe he just wasn’t as good as he seemed?
After a work meeting on my end, and an afternoon with god parents on his end, Trevor and I were scheduled to meet on Pearl Street at Tahona. I was early. Obviously. So I sat in my car and read an US Weekly until I could stroll up and meet my second Match.com bachelor. Trevor, however, was late. If you know me at all, I was staring at the clock, counting the minutes, anxiety rising with each tick. I am not a late person. But my blonde haired 6’3″ date did arrive…. Actually he power walked looking rather frazzled up to the restaurant. Poor guy was a bit frantic. But from my car ,right in front of the restaurant, I recognized him and walked up to save him from the awkward where-is-my-date-restaurant-walk-around.
God he was tall. Tall and handsome. He had the real honest to goodness light blue eyes that make a girl weak at the knees. He was better than the pictures. That smile. Wow. If anyone was watching I’m sure they saw me desperately batting my eye lashes and pathetic girlish giggles were erupting.
I somehow managed to act mostly normal through dinner. We had pretty easy conversation and minimal awkward silences 🙂 From Tahona we hit a Boulder standard, The Walrus, for some pool. Trevor bought us some beers but at this point I was so conscious of not acting like a 12yr old school girl that I had about 2 teeny tiny sips. As I remember it, I won both games. Trevor says he won the second game but what really happen is on the first break he scratched… I was gracious and let him have a mulligan. Your welcome honey.
After I handed him his butt in pool, we walked around Pearl Street. As we sat on a bench and I had googly eyes listening to my Prince Charming, a lovely homeless man decided it was his moment to cut in on the conversation. Apparently on the almost empty street he was going to throw down a fight. He was kind enough to ask Trevor if he would like to have his back. You know cause they were buds? The thing is I have a bizarre fear of homeless people (I was grabbed when I was little in SF and am rather jumpy ever since), so while Trevor was being propositioned for his fighting prowess, I was slowly sinking lower and lower trying to disappear from sight. Knight in shining armor date that he was, Trevor came to the rescue and somehow persuaded homeless-fighter man to vacate the area. My hero 🙂 Obviously he could have taken an imaginary ninja in seconds, but he was humble enough to walk away.
The thing about this whole date was that had it been anyone else it would have been very regular, very vanilla. But I was head over heels after an hour. Prior to our homeless weirdo interaction I already had the thought of “I think I could marry this guy”. And no it wasn’t the I’m going home to doodle my name with his last name kind of thing. It was the “this guy has all the qualities that I would love in a husband”.
Yes I kissed him on the first date. Sorry. He was hot. I almost had to. What with my eye lash batting, incessant giggling, and drooling all over everything he said, he was lucky I didn’t lunge at his lips halfway through the date.
So that was our first date. I had one more date with this man before he left me in my tracks to head back to Japan. Twenty-four hours to soak up a guy that I had just met and was already infatuated with. I have one last post on our “meeting” and then you’ll be rid of my love-sick possibly vomit inducing teenage story 🙂
Happy Sunday everyone…
So my adventures in online dating had begun and I was in the middle of the adult version of junior high note passing. AKA sending nerdy notes back and forth with Match.com bachelors that usually were started with something like….”hey I like your profile…how are you?”…. Be still my heart right?
I decided that I wasn’t interested in going on a bunch of dates just to GO on dates. I wanted to screen my dates a bit more than that. So I traded emails for a while with different guys and then when I felt I got the normal vibe for long enough that I was convinced they wouldn’t kill me, I gave the green light for my first date.
My first date was actually a normal, easy evening. I told my sister I would be going on a blind/Match.com date, and if I sent a text with “w” then call 911 or send in a rescue team. However, everything went as date-y as possible. We met at a coffee shop and headed out to dinner.
We walked down Pearl Street mall and headed to Centro. I love this restaurant and knew I’d be comfortable here. Not to mention I worked at the restaurant across the street, Pasta Jay’s, in college and if I was really needing to ditch a weirdo I knew there were some safety in numbers near by.
We ate, we drank, we traded witty comments and anecdotes about ourselves. It was all par the course for a first date. Post dinner we walked around a bit more and then hit a bar for a drink.
It wasn’t super exciting and it wasn’t bad. It just was. I thought he was very nice but I just ‘wasn’t into him”. (Read that book if you want to laugh about girls being dumb about dating 🙂 ). I felt a little odd about the date in the end because I didn’t know how to proceed. Do I need to go on a 2nd date? Do I cut it off? Do I pull a disappearing act and dodge his calls? WHAT ARE THE RULES FOR ONLINE DATING?!?!?!
Post-first-date I continued on with Match.com’s provided rolodex of men. Each day they were gracious enough to provide me with my “Daily 5”. These lucky goobers have enough things in common with me, according to the massive profile that I filled out, that they would be lined up in my inbox each morning. Again Match.com was considerate enough to come up with dummy proof ways to address the daily roundup. I had three simple straight forward options. “Yes! I’m interested”, “Maybe”, and “Not interested, but good luck on your search”. That “yes I’m interested” felt so eager, like it was screaming “DATE ME, I WANT BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND”…. it freaked me out. Therefor I used that option all of twice in my entire Match experience.
On Sunday August 9th, a very cute, blonde haired, tall, good looking man appeared in my Daily 5. Please take note of his claimed local (Louisville, CO)… and also his rather generous age range. 21?? really :-). Men.
None the less, look at him. Friggen adorable. I immediately clicked “Yes! I’m interested” (read: YES I”LL BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND, PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME). And then, thank you Match.com, a humiliating email went to my future husband telling him that a 22 yr old (ha you thought I was against it, I was 1yr over his cut off) fresh out of college, wide eyed and bushy tailed sarcastic dork was interested. I’m sure he was knocked off his feet 😉
But to my surprise he sent back a message the next morning:
Saw you on here and loved what I read. Not sure what your schedule is like, but maybe we could get together sometime? Hope you had a great weekend, and talk to you later.
OMG. He checked the yes box from my cheesy note!! So we traded a few little messages to arrange meeting up. I was breaking my screening rule because he was hot. How junior high am I?
Trevor actually had just returned back to Colorado from a family reunion so the first night he called to go out I was in the middle of a girls’ night at my house. It was a rather spazy conversation, because I was a nervous school girl getting a call from her crush and I was pathetically bummed that I had plans when Hottie McHottie wanted to go out. But the universe had a good plan… I thankfully had a glass OR two of wine and had the courage to call him later to talk. My impromptu wine phone call turned into a 3.5 hour conversation about everything under the sun. I liked him. A lot. And we hadn’t even met.
We went out the next night. It was magical. Part III will be posted Sunday 🙂
I met my husband through online dating. Does that make anyone feel awkward? I think sometimes it makes me feel a little weird, but obviously how can I complain when I got such a looker out of the deal? I can say that before meeting my hubs, I was one hundred percent on hater duty when it came to online dating though. My sister had mentioned it to me when she graduated college, and I scoffed. You see, I still was in school and had thousands of men-boys all around. It seemed to me if you started a conversation, walked around Boulder, or had boobs, you had a shot at snagging a guy. However I had a rather rude awakening when I, myself, graduated.
When I wasn’t bathing in waves of anxiety about getting a job, I was at the gym or trying to save money by hanging out with friends at home. Then when I finally did get a job I was getting up at 5:30am to hit the gym, drive an hour and twenty to work, work, and then drive all the way home. I was no hermit but my social life went from college high life to post grad zero life.
My lovely supervisor, however, was a shining light of relationship success. How annoying. When I was sleep deprived, road raged, and trying desperately to get settled into working girl life, she had a boyfriend of a year plus and did fun couple stuff. Poo. How did she meet lover-boy? Match.com.
She would name drop Match.com and boasted of its love matching capabilities. She was convincing. She knew how to get to me, throw a little sarcasm about my pitiful social life, and then slide in a persuasive argument about meeting a good guy… I was slipping on my skepticism. Her one-two punch that she had a successful Match.com relationship and the possibility of meeting hunky guys was intoxicating. What can I say? I’m slightly swayed by peer pressure (intensely swayed). So after a few weeks of my horrendous routine, after I was spent from another day of driving, I broke down and created a Match.com profile. I found myself getting a little bit more excited with every page I filled out. I called my sister and asked her to proof my lay-it-all-out-there love profile. Then before I knew it, I was live. My profile was online and I was surfing through guys that were potential matches.
Now let’s all be honest here, there are some +10 guys and there are some creeper weirdos. Yes I had “winks” sent to me from men my dad’s age, and guys that were barely legal. It was rather comical though. Based on certain criteria that I’d outlined, I had the widest range of male prospects I could have ever imagined. Computer programmers to mechanics to some serious hunks in uniform. The greatest thing is that while I sat at home scanning through guys, they were doing the same thing. So each morning I’d wake up to an inbox packed with Match.com messages, but instead of looking at my girlfriends, giving them a pleading look to come save me, Match.com has a convenient little button that will send them a happy message letting them know, “No I’m not interested, but good luck out there, Buck-o.” Or an even friendlier button that sends a rather embarrassing junior high-esque note, telling said hunky dude, “Yes, I am interested!” (insert eyelash batting).
So that’s the background of my Match.com story. Very soon I’ll post my suitor story and how Trevor popped into my life….